you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
