he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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