Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
