Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
