Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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