she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
