He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I am one with the molecules
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
