we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
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Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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