we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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