i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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