I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize