That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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