She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
