I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
