She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
They took my balls.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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