I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
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i really wish james franco would like my vagina
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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