Your face is a jimmy john
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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