Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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