I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i was born a porn star she said
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
