Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
