he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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