just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So many bounce houses so little time
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i believe in u and ur pee
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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