She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We're too hungover to prance.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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