i think my tv is drunk
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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