No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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