so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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