So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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