I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
