check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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