i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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