I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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