I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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