Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
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oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
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There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
dude. I can hear the air.
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