I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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