Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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