If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize