The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
