I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize