How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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