A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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