Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
