What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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