and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
