I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
