I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
