marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
