Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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