so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
