So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
