I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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