You made me cry and you don't even care
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
and you fell through a lawn chair
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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