i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
