so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
