I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she looked like the before picture.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
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I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
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I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
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