I like my sex mixed with concussions.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
