I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
this just has baby written all over it
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I feel like a drive thru vagina
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
