got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
