ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
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Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
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she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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