I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
