OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
