My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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