um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
