Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
